Tuesday, June 25, 2019

अहम् प्रेम​: aka Self-Love


Love is all about setting them free.

Aham Prema is a mantra that is typically translated as “I am divine love.” It comes from the Sanskrit, aham, meaning “I,” and prema, meaning “love” or “affection.” Click here for more

Through my life experiences so far, I have come to realize that true-love for others or self-love are no two different ideas. When we truly love someone/something, we learn to set them free. Practicing this thought might be really hard initially, but when we are able to practice this, we realize the secret to setting ourselves free and living up to our life potential.

When we truly love someone and learn to let them go, set them free to do whatever they want, you realize ultimate bliss. Love is not about to live with someone forever or until you die.
We often tend to get confused with the concepts of Attachment and Love. Attachment I believe rises out of a need/imagined void or incompleteness in us. The kind of love that makes you think that you have to live with someone forever. This is definitely not Love. It is an attachment. This is the thing which hurts you when you let someone go or when ur beloved one left you alone. Attachment is the cause of all the sufferings. In our modern times, I am tempted to associate it with unrequited love. 
Quoting these below lines from a fellow Quora user: Click here for his profile
According to Bhagwad Geeta, We all have souls that are eternal but our bodies are materialistic things. We have a relationship at the bodily level and as we are in the body relationships are important.
But Love is completely a different thing different from Relationships and Attachment. Love is something that doesn’t need a body to be in love with. It is a sacred feeling between two souls which is eternal. True Love is a never-ending feeling as it does not depend on the material bodies. Love is hope, gives us a reason, a purpose to live. Love is that shares happiness among people. Love is God, something that is beyond our understanding. It is unconditional
So don’t confuse between Love, Attachment and Relationship.
Love unconditionally and spread love.
And always remember one thing-
When you love someone, you make yourself love the world.

Reading these above sentences, brought goosebumps in me as I realized the unconditional love of our parents and the fact that it does not end with their demise. 
On a similar note, 
We would all agree that marriage is one relationship that we consciously choose for ourselves. It is not something we are born with like in the case of parents, siblings, etc. And I feel that's what makes it very special


 These words from this article make me realize and appreciate to an even greater extent, the kind of love we experience post marriage.
In an Indian marriage, there is a sentence that states: “I give you my heart.” Both say this at the same time. Then the next sentence states: “Let your mind be in keeping with my mind.” Here it means granting freedom to the other person to think the way that person thinks. That is the proper translation.
 
May you approve of my way of thinking as long as it is proper (dharmic), of course. It is not merely thinking; doing is also involved. So may you approve of my way of thinking and acting. That is a prayer for both parties. May each of them approve of the other’s thinking and doing and help and validate each other. Thereby, both of them will grow. That is how there is freedom in a relationship.
Let the other person think the way he thinks. Even if he is wrong, it is better than he discovers what is right. That validation is important, and it is mutual. Anything one-sided is not going to work in a relationship. If you commit a mistake that is good, because learning from you I won’t commit the same one. Therefore, in relating to another, granting freedom to the other person seems to be the most crucial thing. Courtesy: www.dayananda.org.

I feel the reason the divorce rates were extremely low in our previous generation of Indian marriages, was because they truly understood this concept. 


Ending this blog post with my favorite quote by Kahlil Gibran 


“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”


Do share your thoughts in the comments below.