Self Actualization ...

Self-actualization has been studied in depth in various psychology theories, often in slightly different ways. One of the definitions of Self Actualization is "The motivation to realize one's own maximum potential and possibilities. It is considered to be the master motive or the only real motive, all other motives being its various forms".

A more explicit definition of self-actualization according to Abraham Maslow is "intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism, or more accurately of what is the organism itself...self-actualization is growth-motivated rather than deficiency-motivated". Maslow considered self-actualizing people to possess "an unusual ability to detect the spurious, the fake, and the dishonest in personality, and in general to judge the people correctly and efficiently."

Common Traits amongst people who have reached self-actualization according to Maslow  

Realistic 
They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.

Self Acceptance 
They "can accept their own human nature in the stoic style, with all its shortcomings,"are similarly accept-ant of others, and generally lack prejudice.

Spontaneity, Simplicity, Naturalness 
Spontaneous in his inner life. Thoughts and impulses are unhampered by convention. His ethics are autonomous, and Self-actualizing individuals are motivated to continual growth. 

Focus of Problem Centering 
They are "focused on problems outside themselves and are devoted to duty. 

Detachment: The Need for Privacy 
Thy can be alone and not be lonely, are unflappable, and retains dignity amid confusion and personal misfortunes, all the while remaining objective.

Autonomy: Independent of Culture and Environment 
The SA person has a fresh rather than stereotyped appreciation of people and the basic good in life.

Frequent Peak experiences 
"Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences." -- Abraham Maslow

Creativity

Imperfections

They are painfully aware of their own imperfections and joyfully aware of their own growth process. They are impatient with themselves when stuck and feel real life pain as a result. 

Values 
The SA person is realistically human due to a philosophical acceptance of self, human nature, social life, physical reality, and nature. 

We may wonder how this abstract concept of self actualization/ growth motivated living might relate to our day to day living. This below extract from a couple of articles I read on Caterpillar-Butterfly transformation analogy is how I am tempted to interpret the concept of self actualization and synonymous concepts such as self realization or self understanding.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the rest of the world calls butterfly! 

When we replace old beliefs with new ones we grow--and eliminate the risk of being stunted. Since belief is cause it determines the circumstances we attract into our lives and so it is natural and normal and healthy that circumstances also be destroyed and created fresh: eg: a marriage ends, we become ill, we lose our job etc.

When we resist these little "deaths" we miss the opportunity they provide for personal transformation. However, when we understand that these "end of the world" moments are pivotal to our life purpose we can make the leap towards knowing and fulfilling that purpose.

A caterpillar event occurs and we have the choice to view it from the caterpillar's perspective  or from the butterfly's perspective. From the butterfly's perspective a disaster is not a disaster at all but the necessary and wonderful adventure into a bigger life--the butterfly life. But in order for that adventure to take place we must develop such a deep level of trust and faith in the unknown that we leap into it willingly and enthusiastically and tell our confidence and courage to simply catch up with us later. 

(Side-note from the TV serial LOST) I am again tempted to relate this to the interpretation of how the disaster(plane crash) motivated the survivors to be brave and find their purpose in order to survive by viewing the event from the butterfly perspective.

 Changing, and challenging ourselves is what that keeps us alive and growing. It’s always an easier option to go with the status quo, but if we keep on doing that, our capacity contracts.

The great thing about life is that we can invent ourselves over and over. We can continually discover new skills and new areas of experience as we go through life. It’s sometimes a struggle, but it leads to a vibrant and fulfilled life.

 It is frightening to leave the safe ground where the caterpillar dwells and to enter a cocoon of unknowingness. But the reward, the sweet reward ...

 

 ... is to discover your capability for flight ;)! 

Nurturing Creativity and the Gita

Frankly I have been appalled at the feedback I got for some of my doodling done in my free time out of interest. It was news to me that a piece of writing I write, or a picture I draw, or a video I put together out of love for my brother, all as a release of self expression could have an immense effect on the emotions of strangers and people close to me alike. Some of the feedback made me understand to a certain extent what this below quotation meant.

                             "The pen is mightier than the sword" ~  Edward Bulwer-Lytton


Comments like these also made me curious to drill in and research a little deeper to find out what exactly did the word "Creativity" mean.

"Superb vidya,U have a lot of creativity and humor in you" 
" You have got good talent, don't waste it" 
" You need to showcase your talents "
" You think different " or " You are different " ~ from conversations in projects/ social gatherings 
" You are damn good at this " 
 " I did feel a tear trickle down my cheek, but I felt some sort of unexplained positivity in me ". ~ comment from a blog post
" Good one. Had a good laugh. Now your mokai  poem touches a weak nerve somewhere "
" A very good strength of yours is that you think outside the box. You should never loose that ability"! ~ comment from my colleague during a review meeting

These are just some of the comments from friends, family and colleagues I have heard so far. They are all genuine and in a way they aim at motivating me/ driving me in making good use or expressing whatever people see in me as different or as talent. But there is a catch. What exactly does making good use mean. Or what exactly does it mean to "not waste it" . The last comment in particular from my colleague stressing upon to not loose this ability could in-fact put any sane person under pressure if not interpreted wisely.

It is indeed fascinating to read about the different schools of thought that associate creativity to different aspects of human life. A few causes that attribute to creativity are ( click on them if interested to read more )

1. Love
2. Mental Ilness
3. Being Left Handed
4. Forcing Creativity

Above all, it was very disturbing to come across a lot of negative attribution to creative types like writers , poets and artists to be stereo typed as depressed loners or romantics.

I agree that there is a fair chance of getting tired sometimes when so many ideas/ thoughts hit you and in not being able to have the energy or time to put all of it down to paper/fruition. Or even getting frustrated sometimes when a seemingly brilliant thought hits you at an inopportune moment only to loose the flow later when you have time to work on it. I am sure most of us would have felt this way at some point in time. But when this happens it is entirely up to us to either get overwhelmed and negative ....

or to be positive and create a phycological distance with these thoughts and handle them with a different perspective like how Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love) narrates in this inspiring TED talk on nurturing creativity.

What touched me most about this video was her concluding sentences that goes something like this.

Don't be afraid! Don't be daunted! Just do your job, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. Continue to show up for your piece of it. If the divine cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed for just one moment through your efforts then Ole. If not, do your dance anyhow. Ole to you nonethless.

I believe it and I feel like we must teach it. Ole to you nonetheless just for the shear human love and stubbornness to keep showing up. 

When I was hearing these sentences all that resonated in my mind was the Bhagavad Gita's concept of Karma Yoga and Lord Krishna's teachings. 

Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2

You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

This is what I feel like telling the prolific and inspiring writer Elizabeth

A poor attempt at snow Krishna 

"This age old concept has already been taught in ancient India as well, it just needs to be spread and remembered at all times by all generations to come. And yeah, the divine cockeyed genius as you put it in my case has been and will always be the divine lotus eyed all-attractive, most beautiful Lord Krishna ;) ". 

भक्ति ! Aka Devotion

Four posts have gone by and how can I resist my temptation to blog about Goddess Andal and her divine implorations to Lord Krishna in the form of tamil poetry. Goddess Andal is an epitome of "Bhakti". The ancient sage Narada from Hindu mythology defines Bhakti as "intense love" for God.

"My Lord, though endless pains afflict me, I will not cease to look for thy mercy." ~ Nammalvar

Though I am not sure how much justice I can do in attempting to describe one of the most extraordinary personalities in the Hindu culture, I am attempting here to give a very brief history borrowing text from several sources. This post is mainly about Goddess Andal who is the only female out of the 12 Alvar saints . Alvar saints in hindu tradition are known to travel from one holy place to another composing and singing poetry out of immense love/ bhakti for their divine beloved Lord Vishnu. Lord Krishna is one incarnation for Lord Vishnu and Goddess Andal's poetry portrays her immense love and yearning for Lord Krishna's divine union. Her compositions exemplify bridal mysticism and include the Tiruppavai and the Nacciyar-Tirumozhi which form part of the Nalayira‑Divyaprabandham. Here goes her simple romantic story.

A devout brahmin named Vishnucitta lived in Villiputtur. One morning, he discovered a cute baby girl with lovely curly hair lying under a tulasi plant in his flower garden. He named her Kothai which in tamil literally means one who has curly hair and 'Godha' in Sanskrit which means one who is dear to the Lord. Kothai grew up in an atmosphere of love and devotion.The love Vishnucitta had for his beloved Lord intensified further in his daughter, and before long she was passionately in love with Lord Krishna.

Entry Gate to Tulasi Maadam where Andal was found

Andal blossomed into a beautiful young woman as she came of marriageable age. When asked to marry, however, she stubbornly refused, saying that she would only agree to marry Sri Ranganatha, the Lord at the great temple town of Srirangam. Vishnucitta despaired, wondering what was to become of his daughter. One night, Lord Ranganatha appeared in his dream and asked that Andal be sent to Him in all her wedding finery. Simultaneously, the Lord appeared before the priests at Srirangam and asked them to prepare for the coming of Andal. Vishnucitta once again was filled with both joy and sadness; joy that his beloved daughter would attain her goal, but sadness
at losing her at the same time. He made all the wedding preparations and arranged for Andal's journey in a palanquin to Srirangam.

SriRangam Temple Gopuram

Andal waited with excited anticipation as the wedding party approached Lord Ranganatha's shrine. As they entered the temple, she jumped out of the palanquin, unable to restrain herself any longer. Running into the temple sanctum, she embraced Lord Ranganatha and disappeared in a blaze of glory, having joined her Lord. She was only fifteen at the time. 


                             Translation of the Thiruvaimozhi Paasuram sung in the below link


                                                Andal's Imploration - Click here to Listen :)

In the desire to have the darSanam of the lotus feet of my Lord who resides in SrI villiputtUr with its abundance of the gentle-walking annam birds playing all over, my two beautiful fish-shaped eyes are fighting with each other and refuse to close for sleep. Oh cuckoo! Please warble sweetly so that the perumAn who measured all the worlds will come here. If you do that for me, I will let you be friends with my beautiful pet parrot who has been brought up by me with great care and affection, by being fed delicious food and sweet milk.










                  My visit to Sri Villiputhur - birthplace of Goddess Andal yet again ( thanks to dad ) this weekend and the occasion of Krishna Jayanthi happening today ie. the birthday of Lord Krishna prompted me to write this post. Below is a picture taken at Sri Villiputtur Koyil Pravaham(temple premises). The painting on the wall is that of Lord Ranganatha. 

Reading and learning the life history of Andal and her pure love for god makes me reverberate on the meaning of love . These lines on genuine love from the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M.Scott Peck come to my mind at this point.

When I genuinely love I am extending myself, and when I am extending myself I am growing. The more I love, the longer I love, the larger I become. Genuine love is self-replenishing. The more I nurture the spiritual growth of others, the more my own spiritual growth is nurtured. I am a totally selfish human being. I never do something for somebody else but that I do it for myself.And as I grow through love, so grows my joy, even more present, even more constant. As John Denver sings:

Love is everywhere, I see it.

You are all that you can be, go on and be it.

Life is perfect, I believe it.

Come and play the game with me. 

Ending this post with a birthday wish to Lord Krishna on his birthday today ..

Happy birthday Krishna ! Hope you had a blast ;)          
                                                - As Always 
                                                 Love Vidya ....

दया ! Aka Compassion

I am writing this blog post based on an experience I encountered this thursday. This week had been pretty rough and hectic and I started to a class at Stanford after work with unusually less amounts of enthusiasm. There was an assignment due that day as well that I was supposed to turn in as a hard copy. I managed to quickly cram up and do the assignment and send it as an email attachment instead adding an apologetic explanation on how the printer at work gave off on me unexpectedly.

This post is mainly about the course instructor and to give some background on her I would describe her as a pretty fair lady in her early forties. Their was an unusual calm and quietude around her and I liked her style of teaching right from class one. Later I came to know that she had acquired this calm aura by meditating for an hour each twice a day over a period of one year. Unfortunately this class had been canceled for the last two weeks as her dad had passed away and she had to be with her family in Colorado. I had been preoccupied with thoughts and events happening in my life and had quite forgotten about this incident of hers while heading to class. I entered the classroom which was dimly lit than usual(which I thought created a soothing atmosphere) and all the students were sitting in a circle around her. I couldn't help but observe a certain inner strength she was displaying despite her loss and admired the way she was putting up a brave front and attempting to teach the class.

Must say, this particular class was very different from any I had attended as a student in my life.  She would discuss some course material but for brief moments helplessly go back in time and narrate what she remembered about her dad or what had happened the last 2 weeks in her life and feel guilty about digressing the class at the same time. It was evident that this was the first loss of a parent she was having to deal with. I was observing passively for the most part of the class as I saw other students trying to give her suggestions on what books or materials she could read to help cope better. It was a 2 hour class and the class went on like this with her attempts to forget talking about the loss and stick to the course content. With an urge to try to make her feel better, at around 8 o clock I managed to interrupt and come up with this suggestion to the class. I was not sure if I was doing the right thing but I thought it was worth a shot.  I asked her (if she was comfortable with) to just talk about her emotions and feelings instead of trying to stick to the agenda of the class. Empathy was one of the topics that was discussed as part of this course and I added that this would in-fact be a good practical session for all of us with regard to learning on how to empathize with one another. The entire class and she in fact was taken aback a bit by this suggestion of the mine( the youngest student in the class). She thought for a moment and replied after a pause "in fact that would be a great idea".

She admitted that she was feeling very vulnerable and bit awkward by so much attention from all of us who were strangers to her but I could see she was gradually opening up and was becoming more comfortable. I was glad to see that after 20 minutes or so she was able to focus and conduct the class with some cheer. Towards the end of the class she opened up and told us that she had lost her teaching job as well which made me realize that it was more than one loss that she was having to cope up with at present.

After the class a couple of students stayed back and I was glad I was one of those. She was narrating to us how she was trying to put together a website and resume and how she was attempting to look for work. She also narrated how people around her had been kind and sympathetic towards her offering her food, kind words, neighbors placing flowers at her door step etc these last few days. She further opened up and told us about her 80 year old mom dealing with a terminal illness whom she admitted in a nursery after her father's demise. I was standing next to her all along listening silently. I could sense her inner grief though I knew I could not fully understand what she was going through at that moment. Some students offered her constructive suggestions on how she could improve her job search via linked in etc. One of the students asked if she had doubts continuing her life. I felt terribly bad that she was asked such a question.

All I could manage to do was in the end reach out to her and while holding her hand for a couple of minutes muster these words softly looking into her moist eyes " I know this is not easy, but time will heal and the good times you had with your dad will always be alive in your memory and I know you are aware of the dreams and hopes your father had for you to live up to" .

I am not sure if my words made her feel better, but for some unexplainable reason, I could feel more peace and calm within myself. Suddenly all the problems I thought I had in my life seemed to become minuscule. This incident also makes me look forward to the quality real time I can have with my dad when I visit him this time to an even more greater extent :).

It is surprising and fascinating to see how by attempting to help others we in fact really help ourselves indirectly. These below sentences I read elsewhere come to my mind now.  

"It's liberating to realize that our problems are in fact our richest sources for rising to this ultimate virtue of compassion. Indeed some of the very wounding experiences in our lives prompts us to bringing compassion towards the sufferings and joys of others" .

Though I was sorry all this has happened to the course instructor, I was glad in a way that I was there at class that day and was able to listen to her as it made me resonate on the truth of this quote from Dalai Lama  


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. 
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

On Poems and their hidden meanings ..

I happened to read this poem by Theodre Tilton and felt it would be a useful thing to paste it here as a blog post - a real quick one.

“Even this shall pass away” - Theodre Tilton 

Once in Persia reigned a king,
Who upon his signet ring
Graved a maxim true and wise,
Which, if held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance
Fit for every change and chance.
Solemn words, and these are they,
“Even this shall pass away.”

Trains of camels through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarcand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to match with these;
But he counted not his gain
Treasures of the mine or main;
“What is wealth?” the king would say;
“Even this shall pass away.”

‘Mid the revels of his court,
At the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine,
Cried, “O loving friends of mine;
Pleasures come, but not to stay,
‘Even this shall pass away.”

Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed,
Softly to his soul he said:
“Though no bridegroom ever pressed
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay
Even this shall pass away.”

Fighting on a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield;
Soldiers, with a loud lament,
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning from his tortured side,
“ Pain is hard to bear,” he cried;
“ But with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.”

Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his statue, carved in stone.
Then the king, disguised, unknown,
Stood before his sculptured name,
Musing meekly: “What is fame?
Fame is but a slow decay,
Even this shall pass away.”

Struck with palsy, sore and old,
Waiting at the Gates of Gold,
Said he with his dying breath,
“Life is done, but what is Death?”
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sunbeam on his ring,
Showing by a heavenly ray,
“Even this shall pass away.”

प्रवाहेण सह गच्छ

'Go with the Flow' ;)
 
          I used to be a person who thought that blogging would require a lot of time and effort to maintain. To be frank I also used to be daunted by the thought of writing an article out in public with so many pair of eyes reading/judging my thoughts. I guess I have now outgrown this way of thinking and am beginning to like the idea of blogging as a medium for self expression :). I am finally taking my first step in rising above the pressure that arises out of a sincere urge in wanting to write posts that are interesting and at the same time useful to the blog readers.  Well, this first step was not an easy one and indeed there was an experience I encountered recently that made me think about blogging it. I aim to keep this blog like a book of life with each post describing some experiences encountered by me or people around me. I will try to thrown in useful information here and there in the interest of any reader who happens to stop by this blog :).As I grow I realize that life will be a bag of experiences of different genre which may not be entirely in our control. Guess the beauty of it depends on how we savor and treasure the best experiences that happen to us and as well learn to vigilantly watch for the lessons we can learn from the not so good experiences.

And yea I have not forgotten about the experience that incited me in creating this blog. Will detail it in my next post as it's past the time of my biological clock to be able to write an articulate post :) ..  Stay tuned for more :D  ! ...